Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Missing My Best Friend

Sorry J, this post isn't about you.

My wife left on, not from me. Are you kidding? Our relationship is rock solid. She left for SEA to be with her mother. Yep, sliding away again and she felt strongly about being with her.

It must be difficult knowing, or rather not knowing, when someone you love is going to depart this life. There have been so many close calls with my mother-in-law that we're just never certain if this is the last few days or not. We've even teased that on her tombstone we'll have to give her the subtitle, "Wolf Crier."

But what I really wanted to touch upon in this post was my loneliness and ever-pining for my best friend. She fills the void that seems like a great chasm when she is gone. I miss her physical closeness, her emotional strength and verbal encouragement. I miss having her near to talk, about anything really, and knowing that a simple embrace is usually a mere minutes away.

She left Monday and upon her departure she promised to call upon arrival. I stayed up past midnight knowing she wouldn't get in until 1:30 am CDT and then I gave in, placing the phones next to the bed to receive her call. I awoke at 5:30 in a panic as I had not heard from her. I checked the phone logs on both my cell and my VoIP and nothing, no phone calls. I checked her flight and breathed a sigh of relief when it stated that it had landed before 1:30am. I was even more grateful to have heard from her that morning.

I love to hear from her. Just the sound of her voice cheers me up. You'd think we'd be used to kind of short separation as this is the 3rd such separation for a minimum of a week in the last 4 months. But honestly, how does one ever get used to living separately from one whom they most intimately long to be with, to love and cherish, to share life with? I refuse to ever enjoy separation from my one perfect match? Even death will not conquer the love I have for my mate. I do believe, however consoling the fact may be, that our mortal separation at death with be the most tragic event of my existence. But having life eternal and sharing that gift with the most beloved person that likewise chooses to be with me is certainly one of the most precious bestowals of Gods grace that I can comprehend.

So, in conclusion to this mire of loneliness, I wish to state one more time, my devout and deepest love for my wife, in whom I will love always!
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